Monday, June 11, 2007

Will You Be My Bridesmaid?

You're engaged and now thinking of who will possess the coveted role of…Bridesmaid. My dear bride selecting bridesmaids is no easy or simple task. If you select 10 girls you will be told it's too many. If you choose 3 you'll be told it's not enough so before you feel like accommodating others STOP. This wedding is about you and who you choose for bridesmaids is your prerogative. Now before your giddy engagement excitement causes you to ask everyone you know to be your bridesmaid here are some things to think about first.

1.How large do you want your bridal party to be?

Whether you choose 20 bridesmaids or 2, this choice is yours. Before you determine your number think first about the style of your wedding, and how you want your ceremony to be. Next think of your ceremony venue. If this location can accommodate 20 lovely bridesmaids standing at the front of the church then go for it! If it can't hold that large of a wedding party, rethink the number of bridesmaids. If you're having a big wedding with 500+ guest then 10 bridesmaids is ok, but so is having just two. Before you ask everyone to be your bridesmaid think about if those girlfriends would be better suited doing a ceremony reading, or if you have a extra social bubbly friend that's a perfect host. So before you invite everyone as your bridesmaid, think of your friend's personalities.

2. What do you expect your bridesmaid's duties to be? Don't let the inner bridezilla creep out and posses you into thinking bridesmaid equals slave driver. If that is your mindset you will have a revolt and probably some injured friendships. Here are the traditional expectations of bridesmaids and maid of honors courtesy of bridesmaid

A Bridesmaid is usually a close friend or sister who takes more of an active part in the wedding experience. Many times there are multiple bridesmaids that the bride chooses. In history, the bridesmaid would protect the bride against evil by wearing similar clothing to the bride's attire. This would confuse any "evil spirit" as to who the bride was.
Being a bridesmaid has some important and fun tasks such as helping with the Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party. Your support for the bride as well as being a great listener will help keep your friend focused and relaxed while having a great time.

The maid of honor is usually a sister or close friend of the bride. It is absolutely okay to have more than one Maid or Matron of Honor in recent times since many brides have a few close friends they want to be included. In history Maids of Honor became more common when weddings were planned. For several days before the marriage, a "senior' maid of honor attended to the bride-to-be. This maid or matron of honor, as we know her today, made sure that the bridal wreath was completed and helped the bride get ready for the wedding. In addition, she helped the bride decorate for the wedding feast.

Being the Maid of Honor has a significant responsibility for you. You are the one who keeps things organized and under control as well as being the "crisis counselor" for the bride :) Your moral support and planning will help make a difference in the outcome of the wedding experience from beginning to end!

So whoever you choose be aware of who you know will stand up to the challenge and not flake out.

3.Are you aware of your bridesmaid's budgets? When we think of our weddings we think of our Vera Wang gown and our designer everything. Before you make request of your bridesmaids to purchase a dress, shoes, have their hair and nails done plus other expenses think about their pocketbooks. While it's an honor to be a bridesmaid, it's also an honor to have them in your wedding so be mindful of their budgets. Think sensibly on a dress that's beautiful and affordable and maybe as a bridesmaid gift purchase the shoes or their jewelry. You could even treat them to their manicures and pedicures. The choice is yours but while your bridesmaids are being good to you with all their help and support—be good to them too.

4.Just because you're related doesn't mean they have to be your bridesmaid. Even if you and your cousin Brenda grew up together, that does not give her automatic bridesmaid status. If you and your cousin are close friends and you can't imagine not having her as a bridesmaid well ask her to be one but if you're doing it to please your mom and your aunt, don't do it because you'll be bothered by it the whole time.

5.You don't owe any friends repayment of them making you a bridesmaid. I hear this all logic all the time. "I was a bridesmaid in her wedding so I have to make her one in mine." No, no you don't. When someone selects you as a bridesmaid, it's because you are important to them and they want you to share in this special moment with them. Not because they expect repayment.

When my best friend got married, I being tired of donning the chiffon or silk shantung gown told her I'd do something far more valuable for her than wear a dress and I'd help her plan her wedding. Now, of course this was my way to end my reoccurring role of bridesmaid but it worked---temporarily. As I helped her navigate through the often overwhelming world of weddings it was as we were selecting bridesmaid's dresses that my best friend shocked me by purchasing a dress for me. While it was a lovely black dress that I wore a few times after her wedding, I was expecting to be her bridesmaid but in reality we've been friends since we were 13 how would I not be her bridesmaid. What I was doing for her by helping her plan her wedding is doing just that—being her bridesmaid. So when you think about who to select as your bridesmaids think about who's important to you. Not every friend has to stand up there in the dress but they could help in so many other ways. Believe me, if you're planning a wedding whether you have a wedding planner to help or not you need your friends there to walk with you to the next important step of your life.

Here's to Wedded Bliss!

No comments: